I got a hysterectomy when I was 40. 

Even though my ovaries were intact, my doctor warned me of the possibility of an early menopause, and told me to be mentally prepared for it. 

For the first few months I was on high alert for any possible signs of “the change”. But when nothing happened for the first 6 months, I forgot all about it.

It wasn’t until I was in my 40s till I truly experienced a “hot flash”. If you think you’re having them, you’re not. There’s nothing remotely flashy about them. In fact, it’s closer to having someone constantly stoking an internal furnace.

The heat starts with a warm glow right at the core, then it travels upwards in scorching waves until it goes nuclear at the hairline. Sweat drips, clothes darken, and if you have on more than one layer of clothing, you’ll rip it off without shame.

The nights were worse than days. During the day, I was uncomfortable and mostly embarrassed. But at night, I would wake as the heat built up to a crescendo, kicking my blanket off.

The one good thing is even though menopause is a time where most husbands become distant, mine showed me care and sympathy. 

During my nighttime episodes, he would prepare a face cloth with a basin of cool water and place it beside my nightstand. And everytime I woke up I would find him hugging me close.

I could never figure out how he was able to stand holding me so tight, it must have felt like holding a hot potato. But I soon found out why!

We lived in Florida at the time, and the winter that year was unusually cold. Our air cons were off, and the temperatures at night were averaging 45°F.

I went for my annual checkup that January, and I was prescribed low-dose hormones to help me get through the symptoms. My furnace is now a portable heater, and I was so thrilled. I finally have control over my internal thermostat again!

Come February, it was the coldest month yet. Early one morning, I woke up in my husband’s arms and snuggled deeper, enjoying his warmth while feeling lucky I wasn’t going to combust into a pile of heat and sweat.

“Honey,” my husband whispered in my ear, “do you think you can lay off those pills for a bit till Spring?”

That’s when I realized he was hugging me for warmth all this time, the cheek of that man! After that remark, I had my first pillow fight ever since I was 8 years old. Menopause does seem hard to deal with, but no one said it couldn’t also be fun.

- Leslie T, 48

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