I got excluded just because I’m 51? What’s Up With That?

I follow an instagram account for women who hike, and specifically for women who fall outside the "normal" range of hikers who look exactly like those hiking gear catalogues.

The account includes women of color, gay women, larger women and women with disabilities. I messaged the moderator of my local chapter and described myself, including my age, to ask if it was appropriate that I join.

She told me immediately YES there is absolutely no qualification at all in fact, everyone can join, that's the point! Yay, finally a group that's actually cool!

So we recently had snow in my area of the mountains and the meetup group posted an ad for a snowshoe hike up a mountain. I signed up for it, because I've been dying to hike in the snow this season and I'd love a group to go with.

And then the person who initiated the hike said it was specifically for women 18-49. I am 51. I messaged her and asked if it was still okay if I attended the hike, and she asked me to please respect the boundaries and not come, as I fell outside the age range they'd stated.

Apparently several other women over 49 had gotten the same message, and they had asked for specifics about why this boundary had been set.

Their reply was "because women under 50 have a different set of life interests. perhaps you'd be more comfortable arranging your own hike for women over 50."

It's just "age related life interests" that are specified as limiting. What’s up with that?

Are we all living together as sister-wives at the top of the mountain? Why is ageism still socially acceptable? What do they think I'd talk about that would alienate me from others, AARP membership?

Also...I really want to fight this, but my energy for this fight for inclusion feels so limited. Is that why we're so easy to exclude? I spend so much emotional energy fighting for my right to exist at work, in the dating scene, in sports and with the medical community that I don't have any left to fight any more women-under-49 groups.

- Michelle P, 51

PS. So many women have to deal with ageism after hitting their 50s, not to mention the myriad of menopausal symptoms they have to deal with.
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