Life Starts At 50? No — It Gets Better!

I was surrounded by gifts, strewn around as if at a children’s party. But I was no child. I am far from it. I had just turned 50 years old and I felt old. I felt ancient.

The cake was covered with so many candles it looked like a burning forest. I took a deep breath, as deep as I could, and tried to blow them all out in a single breath to show that I was still full of life.

Why is getting old so hard for me? Why did I feel such a heavy sense of grief, a longing to be able to turn back time to that good, young age of forty, or better yet, thirty? I had similar thoughts on those birthdays too, as each blowing of the candles made me feel like I was losing my youth. But this birthday hit the hardest yet.

After cutting and distributing the cake, I made my way around the room and I watched my friends laughing and chatting with each other. Most of them were in their fifties, some even in their “golden years”. They seemed to have survived this rite of passage with their grace and humour intact.

Don’t they realize that their lives are more than half over? Don’t they know that any career dreams are most likely unattainable? Couldn’t they see themselves — necks wobbling, hands knobby, breasts sagging, tummies bulging, eyes needing glasses?

And here I now stand, one of them. Snippets of their conversation reached me.

“I’m working on a book.”

“I’m walking two miles every morning.”

“I’ve gone back to college.”

Curiously, these women, my friends, do not feel like their lives are over, but rather, just beginning — again.

Even though most look their age, incredibly, they seem to love it. They look like women — not girls — but vital, wise, intelligent women, full of life and sparkling with enjoyment of who they are and what their lives brought them.

Some are still quite beautiful. Others suffered heartbreaking losses — close ones, loved ones. Others fight intense health battles. They put on their wigs, cover their bandages, and head out to party, to laugh and seek joy in life.

Suddenly enlightened, I envisioned an entire new chapter of freedom in my life, with time to discover new interests and pursue them as I wish. It was just like that feeling of finally stepping on top of a hill you’ve been climbing for the longest time and seeing what lies beyond.

No more responsibilities, except those that I willingly took on, like spending quality time with the family.I can climb mountains, walk in the sun, play tennis, golf, dominoes or bridge. I can volunteer at the church, hospitals or the shelters. I can take classes at the community college, write a book, sing in a choir, learn line dancing, prepare gourmet meals, travel to foreign lands.

The possibilities are endless.

Life begins at fifty? No, it gets better, richer, more precious & exciting. Depressed? Not anymore. I grabbed myself a plate of cake and joined in the laughter and fun, celebrating the anniversary of my birth. I lived half a century, ain’t that amazing.

- Cynthia M, 51

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