“I might start wearing scuba gear to bed.” my husband said the other night.

“I don’t want to drown.” he said, smirking playfully.

“Ha, ha, very funny. Too bad you’re ain’t Aquaman.” I replied. 

The scuba gear is a little bedtime joke of our own, because hardly a night passes where I am not awake in the dead of night...dripping head to toe in steamy sweat.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t having a passionate dream about Aquaman, or any hunky heroes, no. I was having a literal melt down, courtesy of hot flashes.

These menopausal hot flashes, that come and go whenever they please, have brought out in me a whole new side of me I never knew existed.

And honestly, I appreciate them for the many realizations I’ve come to.

I have found myself to be a part-time fashion consultant now for my friends who are shifting into the “hot & wet season.” 

We choose clothes by how much they can conceal the damp “hotspots”. Black is the preferred color. Twin sets are good because the outer sweater can be removed when it gets hot under the collar, and then popped back on when the under sweater soaks through and the chills start.

I have also found myself to be a part-time sales person for beddings, and I always recommend getting breathable fabrics with lightweight coverlets. Bamboo ones seem to do the trick for me.

The thing is, I learnt all of these valuable tips from experiencing hot flashes first hand, with zero heads up. My mother never prepared me for this. 

Back then women didn’t talk about such things. They either endured in silence or threw heated tantrums but did not reveal the true source of their distress. 

In all fairness, maybe my mother didn’t have hot flashes. Not every woman does. Somewhere between 50 and 85 percent of women experience hot flashes and night sweats. 

That means a lucky 15 to 50 percent escape with their internal thermometer intact and their clothes dry.

My daughter won’t be able to say that about me. She has seen me turn into a shade of a lobster just after the salad course at a restaurant. 

She has watched her mother prance around outside, wearing nothing but a T-shirt and shorts combo during a winter freeze when she, herself, was sitting in the kitchen bundled in a hat and scarf. 

She knows what is going on. She reminds me to breathe.

Which is why I think it is important to share the full life cycle. Let my daughter see how I deal with menopause. 

It will give her something to laugh about when she is in the same position, if she is, and maybe offer some insights into the joys and challenges that come with female aging.”

- Charlotte P, 55

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